Does this sound familiar? A senior family member or friend needs more help, and you have taken it on. Over time they need more than you can give alone. You talk about other options. They refuse. They insist you can still do the job.

They may not see that you are exhausted, frustrated, or close to burning out. This is a hard place to be. It is also common. Many people refuse support and insist on their own independence even when it is no longer the safe option.

Resistance is often fear. Fear of losing control. Fear of change. Fear of the cost. Fear of being seen as weak. Or a simple fear of losing time with you. No two families are the same. Understanding the fear is the first step.

Here are four ways we have seen families begin.

Take time to listen

Listen to their reasons. Stand in their shoes. Work toward a resolution together. If you can, involve them in the decision. People invest in what they helped choose.

Be patient, and start slow

It may take several conversations — with them, and with the agency — before anything moves. Even then, go at their pace. Starting slowly lets them get used to the change and get to know the new caregiver. Begin with something smaller, like errands, and add hours as it feels right.

Offer reassurance

Change is normal, and they are not in it alone. Speak to the specific fear. If they are afraid of losing you, tell them the truth: with help, you will have more time to simply be with them.

Accept your limits

We all have a breaking point. If you are weary, say so. Do not let guilt keep someone you love from getting the help they need. These suggestions assume they are not a danger to themselves or someone else. If they are, do not feel guilty about bringing in a professional.

A last word

Getting them help matters for both of you. They may resist. A licensed in-home care agency can walk you through it. These are important decisions, and a delicate time. We will work alongside you.