How to Recognize & Prevent Spousal Caregiver Burnout

According to the National Alliance for Caregiving, a spouse is more likely than any other family member to provide unpaid care. That is especially true when the care is time-intensive — 21 or more hours a week. It often arrives when income is already fixed. The caregiving spouse can feel stressed and overwhelmed.

The marriage changes. Finances and household chores shift. Spousal caregivers are especially prone to caregiver burnout. WebMD describes that as a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that may come with a change in attitude. It helps to know the signs, and how to ease them.

Signs of burnout

This list is not exhaustive. These are some of the warning signs we notice:

• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Lack of energy, or overwhelming fatigue
• Sleeping too little, or too much
• Changes in appetite, or noticeable weight gain or loss
• A feeling of hopelessness, helplessness, or depression
• Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed
• More headaches, stomach-aches, or getting sick more often
• Neglecting your own physical and emotional needs
• Self-medicating with alcohol or other medications
• Becoming unusually impatient, irritable, or argumentative — especially if you have thoughts of wanting to hurt yourself or the person in your care
• Emotional exhaustion, and a sense that caregiving is controlling your life

Some of this is a normal response to a hard season. Some of it may not be fully avoidable. Still, once you know what to look for, there are ways to address it before it takes over.

Ways to share the load

Take regular breaks

Caregiving is hard work. Get out of the house. Meet a friend for coffee. Take a bath. Read a book. Go for a long walk. Get a massage or a pedicure. If you still work full time, ask about family-leave benefits.

Do not neglect your own care

Eat well, move, and sleep. Make time for family, friends, and the hobbies you enjoy. Keep your own doctor appointments. Taking time to pray or meditate can help you stay steady.

Watch for the signs

Look back at the list from time to time. Are you more depressed than usual? More impatient with your loved one? Trust your instincts, and ask for help when you feel overwhelmed.

Ask for help

No one can do everything alone. Make a list of daily responsibilities and see what you can hand off. Friends and family usually want to help — a neighbor with a few meals, a friend with errands. Those small tasks matter.

If you do not have people nearby, a professional caregiver can take some of the load, a little or a lot.

We are here

Too often we hear about a spouse getting overwhelmed. At Home by Choice our goal is to keep our clients safe, happy, and healthy at home. That includes helping spouses.

Whether you need a few hours so you can take care of yourself, or someone to provide more regular help, we understand. Contact us for a free consultation. We would love to talk about how we can help you and your spouse.